I hadn't realised it had been so long since my last entry. My last entry coincided with some health problems and then the rush to catch up on my assignments for uni as well as everything for school. I felt like I was trying to juggle a dozen balls at once - and I can't juggle!
I've spent the last week avoiding any work I need to do and contacting people I haven't seen since I began studying at the beginning of the year - trying to see everyone before Christmas. It'll be a busy and social couple of weeks. But it's not enough. I need to do something with my mind as well.
I've been thinking about 'focus' lately. What is it that allows people to focus on one thing exclusively and what is it that prevents some people focusing on anything at all. I've slipped into the latter in the last couple of weeks - pretty much since I submitted my last assignment for the year. I've written 1000 words for a chapter of the book I'm currently writing and haven't been able to think past that. I need to finish the chapter before tomorrow evening. I also have a journal article I need to write but my brain feels like it's fog-bound. All slushy and slow-wading.
And yet - I went for a job interview last week. I walked in feeling foggy and was given a scenario and 20 mins to respond to it. For that 20 minutes and the 1-1/2 hours of the interview, my brain worked at what felt like lightning speed. My solution was topical, relevant and organised. It dealt with the situation both linearly and laterally, viewing the situation from three different points of view. I could even put a time estimate on implementation. I walked out of the interview on a mental high. My brain had been exercised and I felt more awake than I had for most of the week.
But within an hour it was gone. I was back to the marshy fog, unable to focus on anything for more than a few minutes and that only partially. I've checked my diet - it has a huge influence on my moods. I've been eating lots of green leafy veges, lots of red and blue fruit and veges (good for concentration) and staying away from sugar (always makes me depressed). So that's not it.
Maybe I just have to force myself through it. Perhaps I should just treat it like a spider's web encountered on an evening walk and push through, wiping the sticky threads away as I go. I'll do that today, but first .... did I mention I'm a master procrastinator? .... I think I'll have a half-hour nap. I could always tell myself it's thinking time - an opportunity to get the next scene set in my mind so I can write it before lunch!