Friday, January 18, 2008

Good intentions and all that

I had a couple of brilliant weeks. I wrote three chapters for my current book and I critiqued three chapters on a book a past student has written. I spent a day making inroads into the mess I call my office (my desk is still nearly a foot deep but the rest is sort of organised). I read a really interesting biography on our current Prime Minister and began (again) to read Henry David Thoreau's "Walden". (I'm looking for an essay he wrote on ants - parallels in social structure.) I also brought my painting equipment upstairs with every intention of finishing the painting of the upstairs landing.

That's as far as I've got. My writing dwindled to a stop last Friday. I'm about 1/4 into chapter 27, the last stage of a particular Rite, know what I want this chapter to convey and 'look' like but can't find the words to make it sound like it isn't 'and then this happened, and then they did that...'. Everything has flowed on from that. If my writing isn't going well, every other aspect of my life suffers as well. In a way I like it - it shows just how important writing is to me and the impact it has. I also don't like it - if my writing isn't going (it doesn't even need to go well, just keep moving) nothing else is and I get irritated if I don't accomplish something (anything) every day.

Knowing I wasn't going to write anything worth keeping, I gave myself this week off to not worry about it. Consequently I've written copious notes and consolidated exactly what I want to happen in the next scene after the one I'm stuck in. I'm ready to write again.

The only problem with that is I'm committed socially for the entire weekend and I have to start work again on Monday. Work officially starts next Thursday but I have so much to do I'll need to start on Monday and work long days to get everything ready for the beginning of the new term. That's the end of my holiday. I'm loathe to pick up the reigns of control and organisation just yet - I've been enjoying just floating along, doing as I please the way I've been doing since Christmas.

Things could go one of two ways. I could just throw my hands in the air and forget about it, or I could see it as a challenge and work so hard next week I get everything done for work and still do some writing. I've been getting restless the last couple of days - bored with doing nothing. Of course that doesn't mean I don't still like the lack of direction and decision-making - I do. And I still have tomorrow morning before the round of social activities take over.