Everything here is FAST. Decisions have to be made quickly, arrangements have to be made early, lots of things have to be done in a short amount of time. I always feel busy, and those times I'm not busy I look for something to do that keeps me busy until the next series of processes are put in place. I'm afraid I'm losing my ability to relax. And I'm afraid that loss will mean a loss of something inside me. I won't be the same person anymore.
Not all of this is a bad thing. I love the way my mind is stretched when I'm working on three or four projects at once. I love juggling things when it's busy like that.
But I also love just sitting and watching the world go by. I can sit at a window and watch the trees on the mountain sway with the breezes for hours and never feel bored. I can close my eyes and listen to the magpies welcome the morning and the kookaburras warn others from their territory and breathe the peace of the world into my soul. Unfortunately those moments are getting shorter and a longer time passes between them.
I remember reading Henry David Thoreau years ago. I found his writing style stilted and boring but the images he created and the passion he felt for nature have stayed with me. The older I get the more I think about it.