I'm surprised I'm still alive!

When I went to pick Lauren up to go to the gym today, the first thing she said to me was:

"I'm surprised I'm still alive!"

Exactly the type of words every mother wants to hear. All sorts of emotions tumbled through me in the split second afterwards: shock, fear, terror, relief, joy.

I don't think it ever gets easier.

Anyway, the reason for the comment is that Lauren went hiking with a friend today, up near Toowoomba on the Darling Downs. There's a mountain in the valley that has a flat , treeless top (from a distance. Up close it's rocky) and is a favourite for local hikers - Tabletop Mountain. I've climbed it once. The road in is difficult to find and often more suitable for 4WDs than normal cars. Then finding the trail becomes the problem. Of course, that's nothing to keeping to the trail. It disappears after a while and you're left with a choice of scrambling over loose gravel at a 60 degree angle or climbing a rock face.

Guess which one Lauren and her friend chose? That's right - the rock face - without ropes or climbing equipment and only a very general indication to me of where she would be today.

I know I've had conversations with her about hiking safety but when I think about it, most of them were when she was a teenager - and what parent knows anything to a teenager? At least she did have enough sense to let me know where they were going and to take enough water and food to last overnight if needed. Of course her friend didn't have much water so they ended up sharing Lauren's, and Lauren forgot about the need to wear jeans as some protection against snakes or a fall, or take a jacket just in case they did end up stranded over night.

And Lauren has lots of stories about how she made her little Toyota Echo behave like a 4WD on the steep gravelly slopes! We giggled for ages, even though I knew some of those slipping experiences could have ended badly - the roads around there have very steep drops over the sides.

Luckily it all ended well. They got up the mountain and back down again with little more than a few scrapes and some sore muscles, and I have an idea for a birthday present for Lauren - a book about easy hikes around South-east Queensland!

(Image from: www.flickr.com/photos/85581601@N00/3142934162/)

Heat wave antics

Australia, like the rest of the world, has been experiencing some extreme weather.

The last few weeks most of northern Queensland has been flooded (still is) and most of the southern part of the country has been VERY hot.

These photos come from South Australia where temperatures have been more than 40 degrees C every day.

Just so you understand how unusual this is - Koalas don't drink at all. They get all the moisture they need from the eucalyptus leaves. They also don't swim - don't go near water at all.

Routine return

I've been on holiday. I finished my masters, finished work for the year, got through Christmas with the family and then shut down.

Completely.

I basically spent three weeks sitting in bed reading books. I'm half way through number 35 of my tbr pile and am only now beginning to look for something else to do.

The focus has now become 'Life after Study'. What do I do with the 30 hours a week I've spent studying for the past three years? So far, the answer is 'not much'.

Of course that can't continue. I'll get very irritated with myself if I spend an entire year not achieving anything. Especially if it means I notice how untidy the house is and have to CLEAN! ::horrors:: So here's the plan:

1. I've joined a gym so I can get a bit more active.
2. I'm going to begin writing again. I've totally lost the routine of writing every day, or even thinking writing every day. I have to work at getting it back.
3. As soon as I get past the usual beginning-of-year bills I'm going to enrol in some writing workshops. Hopefully nos 2 and 3 will mean I get another book finished, a couple of entries sent into competitions and at least one book edited to a stage where I can send it somewhere.
4. I'm going to start research so I can write an application to begin my PhD next year.

That, with work and family, will probably keep me busy for a while. Anything as long as I don't have to do housework or watch tv.

Finally listed

The house Lauren and I bought is finally listed for rental. Now all we have to do is hope someone who wants to live in Ipswich and also wants really good landlords sees it and grabs it.

Personally I think it's a great little house. There aren't many rooms but they're huge as well as bright and airy. The only thing I'm confused about is why they're calling the third bedroom a sleepout. Sure it's an extension to the original house but it has its own door, is as separate from the rest of the house as the other bedrooms and doesn't have any external access - just like a bedroom. It has one more window than the other two bedrooms but it's a bigger room. Go figure.

Here's the link if you want to have a look at it.

Driving in water

Today I went out to the house we're renovating and (hopefully) renting out. While we were there a thunderstorm hit. It was one of the most severe storms we've had all year. There was lightning and thunder and high winds, broken power lines, power poles down, trees all over the place and flash flooding. It was magnificent.

I love storms but that's a story for another entry, I think. I hate driving in them.

We waited until the worst of it had passed - at least enough that we could see the road through the rain - then set out for home. The highway between Ipswich and Brisbane was flooded in several sections. I was absolutely amazed at how many people have no idea how to drive in water, although I suppose it's understandable - we haven't had any water for a long time. They were all just driving into the water at the same speed they'd normally drive. It's no wonder they just planed across the top of it (didn't give the tyres any time to grip the road) and slammed into other cars. There were also cars stopped along the side of the road - obviously hit the water too hard and it got into the engine and stopped the car. Nobody dried their brakes afterwards either. I'm surprised there weren't more accidents.

When we were growing up, floods were common. There was at least one every year and if we wanted to get to the next town, we had to drive through water. My father always explained to us the process of driving through water safely.

1. If there's been some rain around, check road reports before you leave. You don't want to get caught between to rising causeways and have no escape route.
2. Check the water level on the road - most country roads have signs at causeways that indicate the depth of water. If it's too deep, turn around and go back home. If it's rising, get out of there fast. If it's moving but not rising, get out and check it. If it's deep and you can feel the drag of the water when it's only a few inches deep, turn around and go back home. You don't want to be washed away.
3. Always stop and allow other cars to get clear of the water before you enter it. The last thing you want is their backwash getting into your engine.
4. Always use low gear, go slowly and never, never stop once you get into the water. Keep moving, slowly and steadily.
5. Once you're clear of the water, use your brakes. Apply slow gentle pressure repeatedly to warm the brakes and dry them out. Another last thing you want is to try to use your brakes further down the road and not have any.

That was it. Five basic things to do. I don't know if it's because we've been in a drought for so long people have forgotten, or never been taught, how to drive in water or because they think that if they're in the city they shouldn't need to worry about those things. I do know there were a lot of stalled and damaged cars out there this afternoon and I firmly believe most of it could have been avoided.

How do you get your teenager to talk to you?

How do you get your teenager to talk to you? Apart from building a relationship that encourages talking and listening, I found going for a drive helped.

You can’t get out of a moving car. You have to stay there until the car stops.

Of course getting my daughter into the car when she was angry about something was impossible, so I waited, usually until we had to go somewhere. Often it was on our way to horse riding or synchronised swimming lessons. Both of those activities were about an hour’s drive from home. After the first few minutes of making sure we had everything we needed before we got too far from home to turn back, the drive became silent. Sometimes she was the one to break the silence, sometimes I was, but the silence was necessary. It gave us time to draw breath, to settle into quiet time together.

Then my daughter started chatting. Her conversation wasn’t ordered or logical, it jumped from one seemingly unrelated topic to another. It was sometimes difficult to follow exactly what she was talking about or why it was important for her to mention it. It all seemed innocuous.

Until the last ten minutes or so of the drive. That’s when the real topic came to light. Something serious and important that she was grappling with at the time. Something she hadn’t been able to sort out for herself. I used to get frustrated because we’d just get into the meat of the topic, the real problem, and we’d reach our destination. I think my daughter planned it that way. She never wanted me to tell her what she should do. She wanted to make her own decisions in life. My role was to listen and support and provide ideas she could consider while making her decision. If we never finished the conversation, I wouldn’t have time to give the ‘dreaded’ advice.

She’s 25 now and we still go for drives. Not so many any more, not so often, but a few times a year we arrange to go somewhere together that takes a while and we chat. We’ve also learned to condense our conversations into the time it takes to drive between our houses, although there’s often a half hour or more sitting in the car at the footpath when we stop because we haven't finished talking yet.

Our relationship has evolved – now she gives me advice on how to live my life.

I love being a mother

Being a mother has to be one of the most fulfilling things in life. Well, at least now it is - when Lauren is grown up and I'm only occasionally responsible. This afternoon I got a phone call and as soon as I answered the cry came: "I need veges".

With Lauren that usually means she's been working too hard, not sleeping enough and not eating properly, she's on the verge of becoming ill and she wants me to cook for her and pamper her for an hour or so. Vegetables will fix most of that - they've always been Lauren's favourite food group. Tonight, it's not quite the case. Yes, she's been working too hard and not sleeping enough, but she's making a real effort to keep eating properly through it all. She's just run out of veges and wants to make a stirfry tonight.

So she's coming over to raid my fridge. I love it. I love that she feels she can call on me any time. I love that she feels at home in my home and knows anything that's mine is hers (as long as any jewellery she borrows comes back to me at some stage). I especially love that she knows she has someone she can rely on. And I love that that person is me. I don't feel any burning need to be that person all the time but it's nice that I am sometimes.

And tonight she's not asking me to cook for her. She can look after herself. I wonder if this is the beginning of a new stage in our relationship?